Apex qualifying and lessons

I reached the qualifying threshold in 2 Apex accounts. Also busted in one while figuring it out (platform, orders, sizing, etc). I need about 4 more trading days until I go live. Will be extra cautious.

I hope it will be a great additional arena for me, but anyway it has taught me some interesting things about my primary trading.

One major lesson is using stochastics on 5 and 1 (and sometimes 15) to help me wait for pullbacks to play out and inform profit taking. 

Another lesson has been about the kind of "low tolerance" zigs-no-zags holds I want to be doing. I went smaller in my options account and got great results too. This is completely aligned with the stochastics factor.

A third lesson is about accepting my performance and walking away. Don't sit there and continue to hack at it. I know this lesson and that's why I have been trading in a cash account. I need to refocus on that as I add futures which is in a margin account and has 23 hour/day access. 

Trading on probation

 I've been trading on probation since last week's tilt. I'm doing great. This is what kills me. I'm a good trader. I make good consistent money!... except when I tilt. Tilt is my absolute undoing. I need more ways to guard myself against tilt. I need EVERY way to guard against tilt.

Something I've been pondering is, if my account goes into red, I can only have one more trade that day.
If my first trade is red, one more trade. 
If I go green to red, one more trade.

Based on the book The Mental Game of Trading, I should be aware of emotional signals that precede tilting and then stop myself. I'm aware of lots of signals that I'm not trading my best. I hope the above rule about going red will help stop me. 

For sure I don't like closing shop with a negative balance on the day. But I must! be able to close on a small red and never let it go tilt.

I want to retire A* on my trading. I want us to live anywhere, travel and trade from anywhere. Tilt is the single biggest thing that is holding me back from my dreams.

I like the feeling of being a successful trader. I want the benefits of the income! I can't keep kneecapping myself. Why am I self-sabotaging?!

Tight stop is the right stop

Overall I like how I traded today. I left some on the table for making the right call with too-tight stops, but I know that giving too much room and turning to "hope trading" is also how I lose a lot. It's better to take the small losses and move on than to experience big losses and toxic problems.

Psychologically, I am aware that I am very affected and prone to tilt whenever I have any loss. Combine with, when I close a trade, that money is locked for the day (cash account) and I used to try to hold so I wouldn't "waste" the chance of that money. That was leading to big losses and too-often tilting. Ex: if I'm trading 0dte, I'm probably on tilt. Tight stops have a dual benefit - keep losses small (less/smaller tilt?) and also, yes, lock out that money to stop myself from going bonkers. 

I often contemplate whether it's better to take a few really big positions (3?) with my allocated capital, or several small positions. Current thinking is to trade bigger, take my gains and/or losses and be done. The more times I trade the more opportunities to do something dumb and the more likely I'll end up trading after my setups are expired. Get in there, take my money, get out! Go have a nice day!

I love trading TSM. It's often a real big winner for me and today it also paid. Nice breakout above a LT level. TSM gave an initial long, which I gave no room bc AMD and NVDA tanked simultaneously and the market was very volatile off 8:30 CPI number. Took a second trade with a strong bounce which I also traded tightly. 

Third TSM trade, I tried for short on this breakdown pattern that I'm often early to. Today again, early. I gave it that room and got a skinny target, but I tightened too much for the real flush. No regrets on that. 

BABA daily is very extended. It didn't make new premkt highs along with the CPI number and maybe it ran out of steam. I like how I entered, but should I have given it room to bounce (see TSM above)? Probably not. Got stopped out and missed the move I wanted. No regrets here bc I was shorting a stock that has been outrageously strong over several days and was still inside yesterday's bar. Can't mess around there.

*********

After a ndh and ndl in the opening session, TSM (and the market) has been full bull. Not my money! I'm getting other things done now (SDS... SB... call after call...)

harnessing that mindset?

Market opens down again. So oversold I think anything could trigger a face ripping rocket launch. Yet, lots of weakness around the open.

My pick, META for a ST level breakdown. 

Entry after pop to resistance and drop. Again I didn't wait for level to develop enough, but in the subsequent minutes it held ok. 

Management. Initial stop ndh, quickly reduced to the level just above my entry. In a few minutes it flushed. I didn't grab the stall, and it rose all the way back. Continued down, but didn't quite make it to my T1 or pltgt. When it stalled down there I though to grab some off, but reduced my stop instead...only to yank it and then actually get my face ripped off. A +15% went -30. I felt all the points along the way I "should have" stopped. First fatal flaw is always yanking the stop. Why!? I can re-enter if it sets up again. Why am I arrogant like that? 

Knowing I was on the wrong side of META, I started a long even before the short stopped. Got a nice winner on the starter and a loss on the add. 

Then the RISK MANAGER arrives. I want to trade again. I allocate myself the minimal increment more money and get myself another META long. It chops and chops. Meanwhile, it looks like the market is going to roll over. I squeeze the stop on the META calls.

...and also the risk manager allocates another chunk and I open a concurrent SPY short via 0dte (not even 1dte???) puts. This is a bit of a desperate kind of trade, obv. BH it made my day.

PSYCHOLOGY

1. As always, I like the system of allocating money to myself for additional trading vs leaving it all sit there. Guardrail against bingeing.

2. I wish ruthless-trader will always show up! Shrewd entries. Tight stops. Sync'ed with the market. I should name her and try to invoke her. Where was she when lackadaisical-trader yanked the stop from META?

behaviors to notice, not just greed

Today a red day, ending an 8 day win streak. Today I lost less than 1%, after having been up 5%. Regrettable, but not bad. I was pushing for market reverse down day today. Pushed too hard. Pushing too hard I recognize is a sign of overconfidence. It backfires. Need to always trade clockwork and don't get too cute. Pushing for more than my piece is a red flag.

$STUDY: in counter-trend trading, don't push. Take what I get. 

It's pretty arrogant to think that a strong market will suddenly fall apart. Take what I get.

Psychology: I was feeling super-confident and doing some behaviors that I recognize as over-confidence. Ex: reading too many trading posts, watching too many trading videos, something I call "counting my money". For some reason I've noticed that when I do these slightly "obsessive" behaviors usually in context of a win streak, it's an over-confidence indicator about myself and I'm about to fall on my face. I even said to myself this morning "this is how I act when I usually break the streak." But I didn't do enough to stop myself.

Opening trade on GME, I let 30% turn into 9% bc greed. 

Second trade on GME, counter-trend, I didn't take a reduced stop bc the p/l wasn't good enough = greed.

AMD, traded around that one all morning (on nms?!!), hoping for destruction that didn't come (of course!). Got a price target but not a p/l target on partial, then didn't tighten down when I got another chance.

Note to self: I can't just trade whatever I want. I need to trade MY setups. That's how I make MY money. Clockwork.

Thoughts about stops. Being ruthless.

One kind of stop I use is a "take profit" stop, where I'm squeezing up a trailing stop to give another smidge of room but trying to lock profits. I feel good about my take profit stop technique. Maybe this is obvious, because if I'm using this, I'm at a win. 

Another kind of stop I use is a "broken trade" stop, where I want to take off a trade that is not behaving right, trend is broken, probable case not playing out. I need to work on my broken trade stop loss technique and discipline. I need to make some firmer definition about where to place these, and definitely need to develop a feeling of relief when the stops hit and not a feeling of dread. 

A strong interfering emotion is greed. I want every penny out of a trade. Never want to eat a spread. And other fantasy-land trading.

First thought. If I'm in too big or if the spreads are too big, I am hesitant about stops, exactly when I need them most. This is the basis for clockwork trading rule #1, small size. Small size makes all decisions easier because small size carries less emotion. Lesson here is that size affects my stop discipline. Some ideas around this are - trade small size. take partial stops. remember clockwork and be a responsible trader.

I need to stop my silly game of stop/limit orders. If I need to get out, then get OUT and use that market order. If I want to get cute with limits, then take targets. Stop limit orders confuse the emotions.

Something else to consider, and I've known this for a long time, if I'm drawing trendlines all over the chart... I'm probably in a bad trade. Good trades GO. Bad trades waste my time, if not also my money. Cut the bad trades and move on!

Here's what the greed trap does to me in terms of stops... I keep trying to give it one more level, and just one more level. But by then my stop technique is no longer appropriate. This is the basis for clockwork trading rule #2, tight stop is the right stop. Disobeying this gets me into more trouble than any other rule-break. This is the concept of keep losses small. Just keep the losses small, and the winners will add up.

Reassure myself: I have a good win/loss record. Go ahead and take those small losers. They will seem insignificant in the rear view. 

THE TREND. Always assess the trend I'm trading. Look left. If the trend I'm trading is broken, I need to be absolutely ruthless. 

letting winners run thoughts

Recently (and perpetually), I've pondered about when to trade tight and when to give room. Yesterday I had 2 trades that were "right" on premise, and I gave them room, but when they started to finally develop in my direction I cut them short.*

I have 2 general thoughts on that:
1. It didn't behave right in the first place so I shouldn't trust it too much when it barely does the "right" thing (so take small loss/gain instead of giving room again). This is my prevailing mode.
2. Meir Barak who says, "I trust it will go up/down" based on the way the setup is supposed to play out. He sometimes eats it big on this, but sometimes when it shapes up again he'll double into it and rake it in.

How should I decide? In general, I'm taking a relativity view on it. If my long setup / calls isn't playing out especially when the market or other tickers are, it makes sense to me to play it tight. OTOH, if we're discussing it, it's already done "not what it should have" so how do I view it in comparison to others and ultimately... at what point should I continue to give it room and at what point should I tighten stops?

Obv, stops always need to be in logical places. I'm having a feeling like I want to try to give these more room even after I've already given them room. Ex: I let it go against me 20%, now it's only 5% against me and I'm tempted to cut it. Should I let it ride? 

Ultimately, I guess it all depends on the climate of the market in that moment. I hate missing big winners, but I can't afford the big losers. So I guess that's my answer.. I have to cut the losers, even at the expense of the fomo.

*Looked at another way, I had the wrong entry. I should cut tightly and potentially reenter but never give room. This is the negative of a cash account. I can't always re-enter so I need to have protection but still play the odds.

Clockwork works! +9% day

 Clockwork trading principles:
- Small size
- Tight stop is the right stop
- Pay myself first

I am still trading a reduced size account, on which I am up 9% today. Trying to monitor feelings of "my trades are not working today" or "my setups are expiring". Today I'm done at 10:18. 

No real good setups on my screeners this morning. This tells me not to trust trades = take profits and don't mess around, don't chase.

I show in the charts that I've been using a technique of scaling in. I am still building to approximately my previous size, but only when it's working. This helps reduce the sting of losers. Will continue to experiment with this.

First setup of the morning, TSLA triggered immediately and I missed it. It could have been gorgeous, but as I well know it could also burn! Definitely don't chase. 

First trade CCIV didn't work well. Was right to stop, bc it went much farther against, before it came around. I didn't get emotionally invested in it, which allowed me to take it again when it set up again.

COIN was also one to wait for. Spread was massive, so I took ~10% to make sure I got out green.

After I declared my day done, AMC caught my eye. It may still run, but I held back and passed. That's not my setup, not my money. As I continue to watch it, it would have been psychologically tough, and then a loser. Phew!

LESSON: That's the kind of thing that might make me tilt. I had a solid up day. Called it quits. But if I would have indulged the impulse to trade AMC, and lost, then I would feel like I need to "get it back", and then I'd probably make the cascade of bad decisions that eats me alive.

Seems like approximately 3-5 trades before ~10am is my sweet spot?

In addition to my solid up day, I am also acknowledging the wisdom of the trades I didn't take.

Contingencies. Agressive vs slower markets. How not to lose my pants.

I know what to do when it goes my way: Take off half at +20%, trail stop on the rest.

I know what to do when it goes instantly against me: Eat it at initial stop. 

What do I do in between? This is I think where I suffer. I skim, I add, I get chopped up. I need to think about how to handle this.

Today another struggle day. Up was down (long setups didn't follow through) and down was up (gappers down were bought hard). Let's think about what that means... profit taking? sustained profit taking? How do I know? How do I trade it? Smaller size? Quicker targets? 

I think the answer here is smaller size and flexible targets.

Smaller gives less emotion. 

If I've lately been going 1.5-2x size for aggressive. Need to drop back to 1x size or smaller.

Watch the volume. Watch the Level 2.

Stick to only the most liquid options so I can hold my levels.

If my trade is stalling at 15%, maybe I should take that vs press for 20% pl tgt, especially in chop. Stops are not a good solution, as I can't always eat the spread. Also psychologically, I don't want to always go out on the worst scenario.

Say something to myself like, this is no longer trending, or, this is not the trend I was looking for. ...and find my way out of the trade. But still, when to give up, and when to hang in? Volume. Level 2. Watch the indexes and other movers.

Teriffic day. Flow state

Trading has felt so good lately. Like I'm in a flow state, everything just makes sense. Is this something in me, or is this a state of the market?

In part, I think it's that I'm taking reasonable position sizes and taking acceptable losses. I'm taking my targets and managing my trades just like clockwork. 

I'm not trying to be smarter than the market. I'm synced. It feels good, and I'm raking it in! ...watch out for euphoria! Just stick to clockwork. 

I left money on the table, but still very satisfied

 I liked my picks and plays today. I liked my trade management. I love my gains (+14%). I left a lot on the table, but on the other hand, I felt well synced with action and like how I managed the trades, orders, spreads, etc. Very satisfying.

BABA Gap above pullback bottom. Enter on opening strength above premkt level. Add on continued strength. Then it pulled back and I got nervous. Lowered my first target. Then shaved on targets on the way up.

BLNK Gap above resistance on massive multiday strength. Enter on drop/recover 50ma and vwap. Big option spread, coulda shoulda taken more off at pl tgt #1 (greed, I took 3/10 vs 5/10). Then I missed T2 bc kid/school. Stop was fine, even though I missed the next leg. I don't want to be sitting scared in a trade. Better to capture gains and move on.

DKNG. Not really my setup. Took a stab bc everything so strong today, but I chased and then got scared so I just yanked it for minimal loss. Didn't try again bc it would still be chasing.

MRNA Gap above resistance. Opening bar flushed (not shown here) and recovered. I entered a small partial. Added on continued strength. Then it went bonkers and I shaved into it.

ZM. Tried to get cute here. Looking for it to give up daily support level/s after strong open. First try, glad to stop and super-glad not to be in for the ndh. Second try didn't flush like I wanted. Stopped for b/e.

Nice payout, but psychologically very taxing

 This was my hardest/best trade of the day. I got in at 9:50. Didn't take off on new highs, when it pulled back, I added at 10:30 and then I had to wait. Not just wait while green, but wait while it went above and below water. For 90 minutes! But then I got paid so nicely. I shaved off calls as it moved up, which felt meek after waiting all that time, but I did not want to miss capturing gains I waited for. 

Psychologically: This didn't feel like a good trade. It was VERY taxing to wait it out. 

Overtrading and a little out of control -5%

Relative volume didn't help today. Today seemed like "up is down and down is up" kind of day. Fed Chair Powell was speaking into and during the open. That should have been a huge red flag to sit still or at least go extra small. Or HEY! How about take the day off? I thought I could be too smart. Instead I wasted 2 hours and 5% of my account, plus the psychological toxicity. Really, <SELF> take these days off and call it a green day.

If my biggest trading fouls are

1. "trading like an ass"
2. too big position
3. not stopping losses
4. not quitting at max loss
5. trading too big spreads and/or illiquid option
6. overtrading

Today I was guilty of #5 for sure. Also one case of #4. I think these offenses lead to #6, which I think is "damage control" but often just makes it worse. Also, I kept trading despite the sensation of #1 at a certain point.

Reflecting on my p/l in general, I need to come up with a method to trade Thursdays and Fridays. I think trading this week options on R,F is a recipe for disaster...as tempting as it is. The volatility makes it hard for me to do the right thing all the time. 

Still need to work on answering the question, "What makes me stop?" Is it maybe 2 loses? Maybe I shouldn't take any new trades after 10am in general, green or red.

Here's what I did do right today: Control position sizes. Stop while red instead of continuing to try to redeem the day.

Something else to keep in mind: Beware the instant loser (red right away, no partial). If I have properly small position, the instant loser won't hurt me financially or psychologically. That should be plenty enough reason to keep positions small, and to trade next week expiration on Thursdays and Fridays.

Introspection on losing streak

I'm not sure what happened. I don't know how it started. I don't know what I did to end it, but I feel like I have my mojo back. Now I hope I can restore my account! I got hurt pretty bad. 

Maybe I have a certain comfort zone with account size. When I've gotten about 2-3x that size, I have blown out more than once. As much as it seems like I should just be able to scale and scale, I think I get emotional. Maybe my comfort zone is 1/3 or 1/2 that big $number. Maybe I should skim off gains and trade solidly and consistently in that comfort zone. It seems like that's less growth potential, but actually, it will perhaps just be steady gains vs exponential rise and precipitous fall. 

How do I keep trading sane like this? How do I pull in and STOP! when it's not working instead of getting all crazy? I think there was a video I once liked on this topic. I need to find it. Maybe the gist of it was: a loss sucks, but I can generally make it up in a few days (if not the very next day!). And there's going to be days like that. But if I let it go nuts, it's going to take a much longer time to repair. 

My number 1 job should be to keep losses under control by stopping!

I'm going to post for now, but this is a topic I definitely need to continue to ponder, examine, expand on.

UPDATE. I reviewed July and Aug entries, taking notes and processing. Attached.

Pretty good article about losing streaks. Not losing more than an avg daily gain, regaining confidence in a demo account.

Good old clockwork +15%

I am trying to do a lot of mental work around trying to trade my best. Trying to put the brakes on losses and more so, trying to put the brakes on bleeding my account out. I have moved so much cash out of my account, I'm trading like a newbie. And yet, I think this is a very sophisticated move... to preserve capital while I'm being a jerk. 

So today I decided to allocate my capital across 4 trades, with the option to double into something. 

First trade was BILI, which did a nice first leg, then stalled below my target. I yanked it for capital preservation, but then missed the next leg up. Still, +7% is a solid trade and most of all, I didn't lose.

Get in, grab my money, get out.

BABA ran really well, and I had the sense to yank it at the top, which saved me from losing it all. AZN, I took a late entry and ate it when it reversed. 

In fact, everything reversed pretty hard.

B"H I got redeemed this morning

If I'm praying over a trade, if the only hope I have left is Divine intervention, I'm not following my plan. 

While I do believe that GD is involved in my life, in the market, in the world, I can only do my hishtadlut. I can only follow my rules. Hashem decides. If I've abandoned my rules, and all I have left is to try to call for a "favor", that means I'm not protecting my capital, I'm not acting with discipline... I'm gambling. And I'm not a gambler. I'm a Trader. 

So yesterday I couldn't get myself to stop NVAX puts (after having dumped my calls, which was the right play). Thankfully, NVAX dropped out this morning enough to get back almost flat on that. 

But it's not progress. I need to move my account forward! upward! and with clockwork trading, not with hope and prayers.

Thank you Hashem for intervening to help me. The help I should be asking for, though, is for self control to make wise decisions and help to follow the plan. 

Descending spiral

Today I am grateful. I took home some calls that I stupidly held overnight. I got rescued from them. Didn't even try to optimize it. Just lucky to get out of wide spread, low volume, tomorrow expiration stupid calls without losing my pants. So I got out for +3% in the first minute and I'm happy as a clam. Whatever happens after that, was not my money. I'm not even going to look back. Today, luck wins.

Then I had 2 more winners in MU puts and NVDA calls. I caught the move and didn't stick around when both reversed hard. That's how I want to trade! In and out.

BUT, I am still in the throes of a terrible descending spiral in my account. I have moved a lot of cash out of my trading account to slow myself down and keep powder dry, so I'm comforted by that, but why do I keep trading like an ass?

I need to follow CLOCKWORK TRADING rules: small size; tight stops; pay myself first. 

What is my major malfunction? I freak out over losing trades. Literally lose my mind! I think my main defense against this needs to be the tenants of clockwork trading.

• Small size keeps losers small
• Tight stops keeps losers small
• Pay myself first ensures I can lock in some profits

I might also add: trade only the most liquid options; trade only the opening move. If I'm not done before 10, something is wrong. 

I think I need to do some research about how to not freak out over losers. Not revenge trade and all the other crap. 

Notes to myself as a beginner

What I wish I could have said to myself as a novice trader...

Amateur day trading is like amateur surgery.
You would never put your well-being in the hands of an amateur untrained surgeon. Would you give your money to an amateur untrained trader to trade for you?
Guess what, you're that untrained trader.

You need an education. You need practice to absorb the education.
(And you're still going to lose money at first.)

Never trade with money you can't afford to lose, and there is a very real chance you could (will?) lose ALL of it.
I say this not just because you really could lose it all (ALL!), but also because if you are scared to lose money you will not trade well. You are going to lose money at first. Everyone pays tuition to the market, so minimize it by getting an education and wading in slowly. 

If you need to get rich quick, this is not your gig.

Draw from all educational resources: books, YouTube, classes, mentors... Flood yourself with information and ideas. Start to pick out what resonates with you, and pursue more of that. Before buying a course, get an introductory education and try to figure out what style suits you. Trading penny stocks is different from big caps is different from trading options.

An education should include:

Intro to technical analysis. Learning how to read charts
How to read a candlestick chart, including price and volume
Support/resistance
Trends, trendlines, moving averages
Multi-timeframe analysis
Screening
Setups

Intro to trade management. Distinct from technical analysis
Opening an account. Brokers, fees, cash vs margin
Familiarity with your trading platform and tools like screeners
Picking what to trade
Techniques for entering (how/when to place orders)
Techniques for managing the trade (stops, targets, adding/trimming)

Intro to psychology
Developing a style
Understanding your tolerances, greed and fear
Defiining and obeying max loss tolerances
Developing self-discipline
Figuring out what you're good/bad at


Looking back, I realize how much of an education I have acquired at this point. To facilitate learning, especially in the midst of active trading, I can't emphasize enough how important it is to debrief, introspect, analyze, and journal every day. Develop a manageable journaling technique that helps you reveal your weaknesses and hone your skills.

I would tell my novice self to go slower. 

Grow agonizingly slowly, vs through painful losses. Losses are part of trading. Newbie losses can devastate you before you can make it. Trading is not a get rich quickly scheme. It may be a get rich slowly scheme, but not if you go broke quickly.
Protect capital. Use stops. Live to trade another day.

Didn't trade clockwork today. -13%. PTON wtf and BABA undiciplined

Wiped out my whole week of gains, and payed heavily in psychological capital.
Very emotional trading day today. Positions too big. Emotional trade management. Clockwork nowhere to be found after BABA #1.

First trade BABA didn't go for me. Stop -3%. No problem. Move on.

Next trade PTON jerked me right away, and I was IN TOO BIG. Instead of yanking my pos (arrogance), I bought puts so I could try to hold the calls (wtf?!). Now I'm holding big size in puts and huge size in calls, and it was hard to manage. It moved so fast, and I was struggling to manage both sides. In the end, I was +16% on too-big put position (about 2x what I should have had) and -58% on a wtf-big call position (3x what I should).
Do I need to say, this devastated my day.

So I tried to make it back in BABA. I took a new put position, which I managed poorly aside from it being sized ok. For starters, I let this go way too far against me. I can't even remember if I had a hard stop in (!). Then I got lucky. But instead of taking approx +50% at resistance, I tried to hold for a breakdown (multiday level, 2 days before earnings = stupid) in order to save my day. I shaved off a few smidges, but held the bulk against my ego and of course it didn't save my day, and I didn't even do too well because I didn't trade it like clockwork. Result +10%

Today was a total fail.
LET ME LEARN MY LESSON: 
Clockwork works! Trade like clockwork!
Small size. 
Tight stop is the right stop. 
Pay myself first.


BABA

PTON